Okay...so after a most turbulent 3 weeks....I think my psyche is starting to calm down a little. I was strolling through my Yahoo main page the other day and ran across my horoscope. Some of you may scoff at horoscopes...but I believe in them. And even if I was somewhat skeptical (which I'm not....I'm just saying *IF*) then the following horoscope that I found on Yahoo, would have me believing SOMETHING:
Monthly romance (by Astrology.com)
You sure have an interesting 3rd, 4th and 6th of the month on your plate. Whether you're single or not so much, you'll be doing some pretty intense romantic soul-searching these days. On the 9th and 10th, you might wander down a yellow brick path you haven't traveled before, and you could find a thing or two that will help clarify what it is you've been looking for. You remember how it went for Dorothy and company: whether it was courage, a heart or a home, when they finally got to the wizard, they realized they'd had what they were looking for all along. A similar truth might hit you on the 13th. On the 15th, tap your heels three times and ask yourself what you've got in common with the lion, the scarecrow, the Tin Man and the farm girl from Kansas. The 19th or 20th, take a break from all this internal journeying -- you deserve a day off. The 22nd through the 24th, you should feel free to flirt your heart out! You'll have plenty of flirtation-laden interactions to play with. Put on your shiniest red shoes -- and enjoy the good times through the end of the month!
You can just take a look at my most recent journal entries...note the date and the content. That horoscope was pretty much right on the money! I wish I had read that BEFORE everything got thrown into overdrive....maybe I would have been more prepared to deal with it! Instead I reacted to it and in some instances....it wasn't quite so pretty! At any rate, I think things are on the incline.....basically.
Ya know, during my emotional rollercoaster ride, someone I considered a friend called me controlling and overbearing....WOW! I knew I could be controlling.....but overbearing....THAT hurt. I mean really hurt. I thought friends weren't supposed to hurt you? I thought they were supposed to protect you? Maybe I got the friend thing all confused too. See I've been on my own for a really long time and aside for a brief marriage (only 3 years) I really *have* had to control all aspects of my life. I can't help that my first inclination is to do, say, be something myself before I ask, say or expect someone else to do it. I have an EXTREMELY hard time, letting things go or allowing things to be. I suppose if I ever marry again, I will have to learn to release some control to my husband. But until then....I don't really trust anyone to take care of me (mentally, physically, spiritually or emotionally) but me. So if I'm controlling.....I'm controlling of me and my well-being. Hopefully, my future husband-to-be will understand that, be supportive and show me that he is willing and capable enough for me to relenquish some of the control. Until then....I am what I am and I have to stop apologizing for that.
I've done a lot of writing and a lot of praying during this time, and I suppose it's not over yet. However, it appears that I have a minute to take a breath and regain some strength. I, wholeheartedly thank those friends who stood beside me and offered up words of kindness, wisdom, strength and love. You let me breakdown, yet you made sure I knew you were there if and when I needed you. You know who you are...and I love you.
Peace. 
Spread love, ya'll! 
I cannot express how happy I am to see your post! You have been gone for so long and although I figured all you needed was time to deal with your situation(s) I personally checked all the time just to see if you posted that you were ok. Glad to hear that thngs are looking up! 
Hey sweetie. YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE...LOVE ME FOR ME! Everyone around you should love you for who you are. And if not...gotta go.
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